Redefine Success on Your Terms — Because the Old One Sucks

10-minute read

Here’s a truth we don’t talk about enough: society has a weird obsession with turning success into a checklist—money, job title, nonstop hustle, LinkedIn-worthy milestones, repeat. The part no one warns you about is that none of that guarantees actual happiness. And what if the version of success you’re chasing was never really yours to begin with?

We’re taught that success is a destination, and the only way to get there is by sprinting full speed on a path paved by other people’s expectations. Promotions, busy schedules, being the "reliable one" 24/7, and goals you didn’t even set yourself. Sound familiar?

This blog unpacks the pressure to "make it" by burning yourself out and instead helps you create a version of success that feels aligned, balanced, and like something you actually want to wake up to.

The Problem with Everyone Else’s Idea of Success

Let’s start by calling it out! The mainstream success model is exhausting and kinda boring.

• The Money Myth: Yes, financial security matters. But past a certain point, chasing more doesn’t equal feeling better—just busier. Or stuck in a lifestyle that looks great on paper but feels empty in practice.

• Status Symbols Aren’t Fulfillment: You can have the job, the apartment, the "impressive" Instagram... and still feel totally disconnected from yourself.

• Burnout Disguised as Achievement: Being constantly productive isn't a personality. It’s a trap. And an expensive one, too—especially when it costs you your health, joy, and peace of mind.

We’re bombarded with curated lives that look like success but feel like performance. Real talk? Success shouldn't feel like you’re running a marathon on a treadmill you didn’t sign up for.

How to Figure Out What You Actually Want

The truth is—your personal version of success isn’t a fixed destination. It’s a moving target that evolves as you evolve. What felt like a dream five years ago might feel totally off now—and that’s not failure, that’s growth. Success should grow with you, not keep you locked into an outdated ideal.

If you weren’t trying to impress anyone, what would you actually want?

• Start with Your Core Values: What matters to you? Freedom? Flexibility? Creativity? Calm mornings? Your definition of success lives there. Grab a journal, do a mind dump, or just talk it out in the shower. It all counts.

• Imagine a Fulfilling Day: Forget the resume. Just think: if your day made you feel happy and whole, what would it include? More sunlight? More writing? Less meetings?

• Red Flag the “Shoulds”: If your goals start with "I should," pause. Who told you that? Was it your boss? Your parents? The version of yourself from 2017?

Or in the words of someone who gets it, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are” [1]. That mindset applies to defining what success looks like—for real, for now.

Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all equation—it’s a feeling. One, you get when your values and your reality actually match.

Aligning Your Life With Your Values

Once you’ve figured out what matters, the real work begins: building a life that makes space for it. Not overnight. Not all at once. But with small steps, real honesty, and the willingness to disappoint a few expectations along the way.

1. Set Boundaries with Hustle Culture: You don’t need to be "on" all the time to be successful. Schedule your off-switch like it’s a meeting. Protect your downtime like it pays your bills.

2. Create Soul-Aligned Milestones: Maybe it's spending more time in nature, starting your side biz, or simply getting 8 hours of sleep. Getting promoted isn’t the only way to level up.

3. Progress Over Perfection: Your success story doesn’t need a viral ending. Just consistent, intentional steps that feel like you. Maybe it’s messy. Maybe it’s nonlinear. Maybe it’s beautifully your own.

4. Leave Room to Change Your Mind: Success doesn’t have to be static. What works now might not work next year—and that’s growth, not failure. You’re allowed to redefine, recalibrate, and restart anytime.

Final Thought: Your Version Counts

Success isn’t about appearances—it’s about alignment. The real flex? Feeling good about your life without explaining it to anyone.

Let go of the grind-to-validate model. You don’t need to overachieve your way to being worthy. You already are.

Build a version of success that supports your energy, your values, your joy—even if it doesn’t look impressive to anyone else. Because if it feels good and fits you? That’s the definition that matters.

References & Disclaimer

1. Brown, B. (2012). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing.

2. Journal of Positive Psychology (2017). The Relationship Between Success, Happiness, and Personal Fulfillment.

This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or professional advice. If you’re struggling with mental health, consult a licensed professional.